Dr. Sachs had worked with many couples to improve their relationship and minimize any negative impact of ADHD on the couple. He wrote the book Helping Your Husband with ADHD.
Relationships tend to suffer the pressure and strains of everyday life—especially if one partner has ADD/ADHD. Do these problems sound like you or your partner?
Difficulty listening and paying attention. An individual with ADHD may “zone out” or talk out of turn, making it difficult to communicate. It can also cause the partner to feel as though what they have to say doesn’t matter or isn’t valued.
Trouble completing tasks. ADHD can lead to poor organizational skills and forgetfulness. A man with ADHD may miss his wife’s birthday or their wedding anniversary or may forget to stop at the store on the way home from work as his wife had asked. This forgetfulness may make his wife feel hurt and think that her husband doesn’t care when he’s actually forgotten because he has trouble staying on top of things. That same inability to finish tasks may translate into a lack of commitment when it comes to marriage or other relationships.
Inability to handle responsibilities. Someone with ADHD might forget to pay the bills, neglect to clear a dangerous pile of branches from the backyard, or leave a toxic cleaner on the sink while children are playing nearby.
Impulsive behavior. People with ADHD constantly need stimulation and may fail to think through the consequences of their actions. This can lead to reckless, irresponsible behaviors (like driving too fast with the kids in the car).
Emotional overreaction. Someone with ADHD may lose his or her temper easily, leading to major misunderstandings. Arguments can quickly spiral out of control because the person with ADHD is unable to talk through issues calmly.
Couples Counseling/ADHD
Being able to manage conflict or arguments in an understanding manner is the foundation of a good relationship. Couples counseling helps couples recognize and resolve conflicts by gaining a better understanding of one another in order to improve their relationship. During therapy, couples will find themselves in a caring and supportive environment that will help them find a way through any difficulties or challenges that they may be facing. Couples that seek counseling to improve a troubled relationship may be dealing with issues such as communication problems, trust issues, stress, financial problems, sexual difficulties, parenting challenges, substance abuse, anger management, and infidelity and divorce.
With couples counseling, destructive patterns can be recognized and addressed; conflict and communication can be improved, and new relationship skills can be learned. Couples can start to feel more confidence and less anxiety towards each other. Call the Sachs Center for information on couples counseling. 646-807-8900